did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
