How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
