Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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