also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
