dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
