Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
look no pants
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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