respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
