I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
this hospital has no fireball
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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