Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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