Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
What drink are we having for lunch?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
