1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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