I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
