At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
