I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
