please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
