ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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