Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
