I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
