Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
