his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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