Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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