Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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