I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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