I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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