Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
