its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
