hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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