her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
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