First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize