She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
