just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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