No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
