She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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