Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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