Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
