Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
