He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
