just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
