I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
