Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
