My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I believe in your delicious
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
