Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
