yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
