Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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