drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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