I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
