Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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