Well apparently he's into motor boating.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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