Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
