So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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