this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
