She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
