I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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