Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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