$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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