a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
she told me i tasted like america
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
