did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
