Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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