Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
