Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
